Monday, June 3, 2013

TRIGGER WARNING: WHERE GOD PUT US

As the tears were rolling pretty heavily down my face, I had to sit up and write what was in my head... I was in a dead sleep ..This was originally sent to P as an email and I decided to post it here on my blog.. To me it represents how we became who we are... I must admit it scared and saddened me when I woke...I believe I wrote it as me: Bonnie .. and for the first time I believe I owned it...


Here we are where God put us...

He does it to all of us..
Dumps us where he likes...

There we are cute little girls or boys...
Things grow bigger on us..
And we are ohh so cute...









There they are as they cut..
and twist... and pull..
As the blood dribbles down our legs..



Heyyyyyy I realized something...
Yeh I really did...
I'm looking down..seeeee down there....

I don't feel it...
There's no reason to scream, kick or cry.....

Ohhhh cool...you're here with me too...

shhhhhhh don't tell them...
it's our little secret...

And we are friends ... forever and ever ....


TOGETHER.. I LOVE YOU

SOME IMAGES BORROWED FROM GOOGLE






6 comments:

  1. Haunting, true, emotion. I'm still amazed by your words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chrystal it is you that have the haunting true emotion ... it is you who have always been here... your words have helped me over and over again...wish I could give you a real hug...love always XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

      Delete
  2. Sending you love and hugs, dear Bonnie!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martha my sweet heart... the one with the giant soft heart.. always here with comforting words.. I love you XOXOXOXOXOX

      Delete
  3. Awhhh, BB, what I have missed while I have been absent. I miss our conversations and morning coffee together ♥ I have been without internet for several weeks now and they have just now figured out what was wrong. I have been keeping up with you through my phone email notifications LOL. Always remember Chicky that I love you! I'm going to have to really read, and re-read, this email. It says so much in so few words so it's not something I can comment on right now. This conversation will probably end up being a face to face talk? Miss you so much!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This sounds like a breakthrough my lovely friend. It may not feel like it to you, but from an objective "perch" I see it and celebrate FOR you until the day comes when you can both see it and celebrate it as well. Love and "bear" hugs .. see you soon!

    ReplyDelete

FOLLOW ME :)

FOLLOW WITH GOOGLE :)

Labels

SUICIDE IDEATION (139) THERAPY (131) Dissociative Identity Disorder (110) DISSOCIATION (102) DID (99) SEXUAL ABUSE (39) THIS MOMENT (37) GRIEF (35) THERAPIST (32) FEAR (31) DEPRESSION (30) TRUST (30) SAM (28) GOD (25) MEMORIES (24) Z (24) YOU TUBE TUESDAY (22) GUEST POSTS (21) REAL LIFE SERIES (21) ALTERS (20) P (19) DUAL RELATIONSHIPS (18) PAIN (18) ABANDONMENT (17) POETRY (17) RELATIONSHIPS (17) TEARS (17) MPD (15) ANGER (13) FLOODING (13) FLASH BACK (12) SAFE PLACE (12) TRIGGERS (12) Trauma therapy (11) LOVE (10) BODY MEMORIES (9) PANIC (9) FLASHBACKS (8) FRIENDSHIPS (8) LETTING GO (8) SELF INJURY (8) SUICIDE ATEMPT (8) Ariel (7) FRIENDS (7) MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER (7) MUSIC (7) PROMISES (7) SHAME (7) UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (7) BLOG HOP (6) CHANGE (6) GOOD BYE (6) HUMOR THERAPY (6) TRAUMA (6) AWARDS (5) BONGO (5) CHURCH (5) DEATH (5) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (5) FAMILY (5) HYPNOSIS (5) MELT DOWN (5) STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART AWARD (5) THE BEACH (5) VOICE (5) . DID (4) ABUSE (4) Aiden (4) BPD (4) Blogging (4) CHANGING WHAT'S REAL EVENT (4) CRYING (4) DARKNESS (4) Details... DID...Dissociative identity disorder...Sexual abuse... Suicide ideation (4) FEELINGS (4) HEALING (4) HUMOR (4) HYPNO THERAPY (4) INSIDE (4) PRAYER (4) PRAYING (4) PTSD (4) PURPOSE (4) RAPE (4) SHUT DOWN (4) THANK YOU (4) TRANSITION (4) TRIGGER (4) ABORTION (3) ANTIOCH (3) AVOIDANCE (3) BLOGPLICITY (3) DRUGS (3) FUN (3) HONESTY (3) HOPE (3) Joshua (3) MEDICAL HYPNOSIS (3) MOMENT IN TIME (3) NIGHTMARES (3) Nightmare (3) PETS (3) SUPPORT (3) SURVIVOR (3) THE BLUE ROOM (3) THOUGHTS (3) age regression (3) ...Dissociative identity disorder...Sexual abuse... Suicide ideation (2) 000 (2) ATTACHMENT (2) Anxiety (2) BONGO IS ME (2) Blogversary (2) Borderline Personality Disorder (2) CHILDREN (2) CLOSURE (2) CONTROL (2) CUTTING LOSSES (2) ENDINGS (2) Elijah (2) HOLIDAYS (2) HOMELESS (2) HUGS (2) HURT (2) ISOLATION (2) L AND Z (2) LAUGHTER (2) LIFE (2) MARY (2) PARENTING (2) PHYSICAL ABUSE (2) PUBLIC AID (2) RACING THOUGHTS (2) REJECTION (2) SELF IMAGE (2) SUICIDE (2) SURVIVAL (2) Sand tray (2) THERAPY TALES (2) TRUTH (2) VICTIM ROLE (2) WORSHIP (2) for those who seek (2) hopelessness (2) ju ju (2) light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel (2) self care (2) traumatic memories (2) ..Sexual abuse... Suicide ideation (1) 01 26 11 (1) 100 000 celebration (1) 100 TRUTHS (1) 15 (1) 50 (1) 911 (1) A (1) ACTION (1) ADVENT (1) AGORAPHOBIA (1) ANALSEX. FISSURES (1) ANGEL EYES (1) ARISTOTLE (1) Adoption (1) Alcohol. (1) Alcohol. Emotional abuse (1) Anna Sidea (1) BEGINNINGS (1) BEING ALONE (1) BI POLAR (1) BIRTHDAYS (1) BLESSINGS (1) BLOG AWARD (1) BLOGGERS MEET (1) BLOGGERS UNITE (1) BONNIE (1) BREATHING (1) BROKEN HEART (1) BULEMIA (1) BULLYING (1) BUTTERFLY (1) Blog Tag You're It (1) CELABRATION (1) CHANGING WHAT'S REAL EVENT 5 (1) CHANGING WHAT'S REAL EVENT 6 (1) CHAOS (1) CHRISTMAS (1) CODE WORD LIZA (1) COMMUNION (1) CONSPIRACY (1) CYBER BOT (1) Comments program (1) DENIAL (1) DENTISTRY (1) DIABETES (1) DISAPPOINTMENT (1) DIST (1) DISTRACTION (1) DOG (1) DONATIONS (1) DONE (1) DREAMS (1) EASTER (1) ECT (1) EMERGENCY ROOM (1) EMOTIONAL ABUSE (1) EMOTIONAL NEGLECT (1) ESCAPE (1) EVANGELIZING (1) EYES (1) FAILURE (1) FAKE (1) FALL (1) FANTASY (1) FINANCIAL TROUBLE (1) FLODING (1) FOOD CARD (1) GAY (1) GIVING (1) GRIEVING (1) Guilt (1) HANUKKAH (1) HELP (1) HIDING BEHIND GOD (1) HONESTLY (1) I LOVE YOU FOREVER (1) I'M SORRY (1) IDEATION (1) IMAGO DEI (1) INCEST (1) INSANITY (1) INSURANCE (1) IRRATIONALITY (1) JEALOUSY (1) JESUS (1) JORIE (1) JOY (1) JuJu (1) KREATIV BLOGGER AWARD (1) LESBIAN (1) LIEBSTER BLOG LOVE AWARD (1) LIMBO (1) LISA (1) LISA BRANDEL (1) LONLINESS (1) LORAZAPAM (1) LOSING TIME (1) LOST (1) Letter to Z (1) Lies.FAKE (1) Lorazepam (1) M (1) MASK (1) MINDFUL (1) MISSION TRIP (1) MONDAY MEMORY (1) MONEY (1) MY SHIRT (1) Medication (1) Midwest (1) Mother (1) NANNY (1) NELIETA (1) NEURONTIN (1) NIGHTMARES. THERAPY (1) NOISE (1) OLD SCRIPTS (1) ON CALL (1) P's blog (1) P. music (1) PEACE (1) PERSIA (1) PHOBIAS (1) POERTREE BLOG HOP (1) POETREE (1) POETREE HOP (1) POLICE (1) POVERTY (1) PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING (1) PURGING (1) Parent (1) Posttraumatic stress disorder (1) QUIET (1) REAL (1) RITUAL ABUSE (1) ROSE (1) Re POST (1) SAFETY (1) SEARCHING (1) SEASONS (1) SELF ESTEEM (1) SILENCE (1) SJ (1) SMILES (1) SPIRITUAL ABUSE (1) STANDING UP (1) STAR SUNDAY FEATURED BLOGGER (1) SURRENDER (1) Sometimes I wish..Bog Hop (1) Susan Murfphy Milano (1) Sweepy (1) TAG (1) TETHER (1) THE BALD GUY (1) THE PACT (1) THERAPY THERAPIST (1) THURSDAY DEDICATION (1) TITANIC SWIM TEAM (1) TOUCH (1) TRIGGER WARNING (1) Therapy. THERAPIST. SEXUAL ABUSE (1) UN DIAGNOSED PAIN (1) USELESS PEOPLE (1) WOrTHLESS (1) Whitney Houston (1) YOGA (1) YOU TOUCHED A LIFE AWARD (1) YOU TUESDAY (1) YOU"RE NOT ALONE (1) alone (1) alter activity.SAM CALL PAT (1) burden (1) concrete angel (1) drugged (1) epeisiotomy (1) gifts (1) giving birth (1) more then you'll ever know (1) new template (1) processing (1) the 9th day (1) vacation (1) www.healmyptsd.com (1)

Blogger

Bongo - Find me on Bloggers.com