Wednesday, December 25, 2013

A CHILD WANTING TO BE HELD


Sometimes you have nothing to say...
and other times ..
like now..
you have so much to say and no words to say it ...

So so much has happened ...
in the last 6 months or so....
yet I have been living the life of avoidance...

now there is so much in my head...
 I wanna curl up in my bed and slip away .....


There has been forward movement ...
yet also backward movement too..

just one day ...
one little day..
I wish someone could join me in my head and know what I see..

I wish I could say what I see or feel ...
without being afraid of someones reaction..

Yes I can do that with P...
yet there is so much I won't say even to her..



my little world of isolation seems to be growing...
I am less and less of myself and more of others..

I think we had a breakthrough last week....
yet I feel so sad I can not celebrate it..

the black cloud of depression is evil..
it robs you of yourself..

and my faith???? well it's not there...
i don't know what this is right now...
but I do not like it....
it does not feel good...

I feel as a child wanting to be held....
just want to be held.....


TOGETHER I LOVE YOU

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