Thursday, June 5, 2014

I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH

The water is rough..
the waves are high..
the force of the waves push me under over and over again...
 I fight with all my strength just to get to the surface..
 for one gasp of life saving air...
but the wave hits again...
and I fight once again for that gasp of air...
I fight you see...
over and over again...



but I get so tired..
until there is no strength left..
 year after year..
month after month..
day after day..
 minute after minute...
over and over and over again..

praying each moment for an end to the struggle...

going through the motions not knowing whats real and whats not.
relationships that don't truly exist disappear as if it never really was..

a mothers heart that's torn to shreds each and every day..
wondering what she did wrong?

Therapy ..
a long and drawn out process..
makes your relive each and every horrific moment.
.
the word love is tossed around like a balloon..
you scan the room to see if it's real or a fantasy in your own twisted mind..

nothing stops the noise inside..
 you toss and turn at night trying to quiet the noise....
you wake form vivid nightmares not knowing where you are..
on Thursday your wondering what happened on Wednesday..

and the the word love again..
"I love you that much"
and you wonder if not for yourself can you fight for those words..
"I love you that much"..

can you ?

Together.. I love you


SOME IMAGES BORROWED FROM GOOGLE 

3 comments:

  1. I love you more, dear Bonnie! Hang in there, sweet lady!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love all of you that much and more.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have missed you <3

    "relationships that don't truly exist disappear as if it never really was.." Living this situation now hurts like hell!

    ReplyDelete

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